Women, Sex, Female Sexual Dysfunction, PMS & PMDD: It’s All About The Relationship

by Dr. Daniel J. Heller March 17, 2012

We read with interest a recent study that showed that what has been called frigidity or female sexual dysfunction turns out to be mostly about relationship issues. That’s right, women’s sexual satisfaction is based to a large degree on the health, comfort, and mutuality of their romantic relationship. In other words, there’s no such thing as a female sexual frigidity, only emotionally and sexually unsatisfying relationships. Now, who do you think is surprised by this information? Not most women, that’s for sure! The idea that sex, sexual satisfaction, orgasm, sexual climax, or whatever term you want to apply is, for women, built on a foundation of a good relationship is so basic, and so elementary, that we are tempted—gasp!—to think that this news would only come as a surprise to men, and specifically the male medical professionals who likely coined the terms frigidity and female sexual dysfunction.

Snarkiness aside, it just makes sense that a woman can really relax and enjoy sex if she doesn’t feel like her partner is really 100% there for her. Your partner doesn’t show you tenderness and respect? It’s hard to leave that outside the bedroom. Your husband (or wife) doesn’t do his (or her) fair share around the house? That will probably make it hard to relax and enjoy intimacy. Does your boyfriend (or girlfriend) show more interest in playing poker or video games than he (or she) does in you? It’s hard to want to please someone, and be pleased by someone, who really seems so disinterested and “not present.” 

We know that PMS and PMDD can do a real number on libido and sex drive, and that PMS gets blamed for a lot of sexual problems. And, like anything else that affects your health, it’s hard to feel sexy if you feel lousy. But, it’s not just PMS or PMDD that mess with sexual desire: all of the dynamics that put stress on a relationship: fidelity, finances, friendships, getting along, and feeling like you’re in it together, can make it hard for a woman to fully enjoy sex and reach orgasm when things aren’t going well.

We think the current views of sex and sexuality, of women’s orgasm and sexual satisfaction, including the ideas of frigidity and female sexual dysfunction, deserve some serious reconsideration in light of this new information. After all, is anyone really surprised that what happens outside the bedroom matters inside the bedroom?

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About The PMS Comfort Blog

The PMS Comfort Blog is our informal way of keeping you up to date on women’s health issues that we think are important; timely; underappreciated; useful; or just interesting. And, we’ll admit, sometimes we can’t resist poking some good-natured fun at the way the mainstream media portrays health, natural health, and women’s health issues. As always, we’d love to hear from you and are interested in knowing what you think and feel about these or other topics. Leave a comment for us, we’ll always respond. And, if there’s a women’s health topic that’s of interest to you, or that you find confusing, let us know! We want this blog to be helpful to you.

 

Dr. Daniel Heller is the primary author of this blog, the developer of our PMS Natural Relief Programs, and the founder of www.pmscomfort.com. He is a holistic naturopathic doctor in Northern California with over 16 years experience helping thousands of women recover from PMS, PMDD, as well as helping women, children, and families find natural answers to all manner of health challenges.

 

PMS Comfort is here to support you with detailed, practical knowledge presented in a balanced manner you can trust. We are committed to educating, informing, and empowering womenregarding PMS, PMDD, and women’s health, and to providing natural relief for premenstrual symptoms.

 

 

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